There is a casino in this house. A real one. Not a poker table in the rumpus room, not a novelty roulette wheel someone got for a 50th birthday and never assembled — a dedicated, designed, carpeted casino lounge with a full roulette wheel, multiple card tables, custom leather bar stools embroidered in gold with the words ‘Baltimore Casino,’ pendant lights on brass fittings positioned over the felt at regulation height, and the kind of swirling blue-gold-and-pink carpet that exists in exactly two places on earth: this room, and the floor of every RSL between Penrith and Palm Beach circa 1994. The roulette wheel is not decorative. The chairs have gold writing on them. The house has a name.
Baltimore is a four-level, 1,448 square metre waterfront residence on Sovereign Islands, designed by architect David Carlson and finished in a palette that can be described as ‘confident red, assertive black, and structural chrome.’ The two enormous red columns running the full height of the facade are visible from neighbouring properties, presumably also from light aircraft. Inside, the red continues through the bar, the kitchen cabinetry, the casino walls, the wine cellar — where every surface has been lacquered in a shade that makes 1,500 bottles of wine look like they’re being dramatically backlit for a music video — and the feature walls of approximately six other rooms. It is a colour scheme that has committed.
The amenities list reads like a hotel that decided to also be a casino and then kept going. A 17-metre indoor pool with blue LED lighting and, inexplicably, a large blue penguin statue standing beside it. A 6,000-litre freshwater aquarium built into the wall between the gym and the pool so the fish have a view of both. A Gold Class cinema with tiered leather recliners and the same swirly carpet reprising its role from the casino next door, because in Baltimore, the carpet is recurring cast. A 15-car basement garage currently occupied by three Ferraris, a Maserati, a blue sports car and a yellow Porsche, plus one sensible black car at the back that appears to be reconsidering its life choices.
The dining room has zebra-print chairs. The walk-in wardrobe has a red chandelier and luxury shopping bags arranged on the shelves as curated art objects, which is the correct move. The pontoon fits an 80-foot boat. The bar stools say Baltimore Casino in gold. None of this is accidental. Every single decision in this house was made on purpose, by someone who knew exactly what they were doing, and the result is one of the most committed residential interiors in Queensland. It doesn’t need you to like it. It has a casino.
